belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
