Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
