**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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