Im at strip club and am horny
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
