I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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