I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
