i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
