Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
