Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize