The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
