Dude my mom stole all your condoms
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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