I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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