i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
