you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
