is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
