You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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