Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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