i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
