I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
