They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Pants are for mortals
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
