I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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