literally had 100 drinks last night.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
