You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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