She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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