speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My breasts were aching with rage.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
