dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
