I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
