everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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