So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
