You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
