sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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