Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
