Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
