I'm gonna have a badass scar
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize