I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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