can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
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He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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