And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
