I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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