i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
