hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
