with your own penis?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
