That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
