The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
