She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You were trust falling into bushes
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
