It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
