When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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