Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just pee around me
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
