I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
