i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
