went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize