what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
