brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You smell like a Billy Joel song
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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