Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
