what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
