dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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