Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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