yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
