Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I fill condoms, not promises.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
