I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
