he thought i was a dude.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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